本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Transcript of the victim impact statement by Sherry Xu, mother of Cecilia
Zhang, played on video in court Tuesday:
My name is Sherry Xu. I was born in China. After my marriage to Raymond
Zhang, a beloved daughter was born to us on March 30, 1994, and we named
her Dongyue Zhang. Her English name was Cecilia.
I understand that this video recording is very important. I need to tell
the judge and all those present how we spent the 161 days and nights since
our daughter disappeared and until we discovered she was killed; that's
how long Oct. 20, the day Cecilia was taken, is till March 27, the day Cecilia
was found: 161 days. From that horrible discovery until today, how we spent
these 720 days and nights, that's how many days it's been from March 27,
the day Cecilia was found, until today: 720 days and nights, and how our
family sank into a deep abyss. But please forgive me; I am unable to do this.
I am unwilling to talk about my pain; unwilling, because even being misunderstood,
mistrusted, and slandered is nothing. What kind of pain can compare with
the agony of facing death? Cecilia can no longer speak. Who can tell me
what kind of pain she had endured? Who can tell me? Cecilia was only nine
years old, but she had to face murder totally alone. As a mother, I gave
birth to her, but I was unable to protect her, so what face do I have to
talk about my own pain? I cannot.
I am unwilling to talk about my pain. I cannot tell the whole world my agony,
and allow my beloved family and friends to experience once more the sadness
my suffering has brought them. I have lost my only flesh and blood, and
her departure has hurt all the hearts of those who loved her; there has
been too much suffering in this extended loving family. I can no longer
withstand the tears and sobbing of the elderly grandparents, I cannot bear
the looks of older brothers and sisters that are filled with sadness and
pity. I am fully convinced that happiness can be shared, but pain can only
be borne in silence. I am reluctant for my relatives to suffer again, and
I cannot bear to watch the sorrow of my beloved and loving relatives. I
cannot ever bear to talk about my feelings about Cecilia with my husband,
who is the most intimate person that I have in this world. Neither of us
had any will left to live after talking about it once in 2004. Therefore,
I cannot talk about my pain, because I have no strength left to bear the
consequences of being so open.
I only want to say a few words for Cecilia. Spring has arrived. Looking
at nature springing back to life, the lovely green lawns and beautiful flowers,
kids playing on the lawn; where is my Cecilia, where is she? She can no
longer hold my hand, singing children's tunes, the way we used to do as
we went home after school. She can no longer run and laugh on the grass;
but forever separated from all the wonderful things in this world. Where
is she? She is lying in a cold grave, the warmth of spring cannot awaken
her; and yet, how she loved life!
In her homework “My Wishes” that she left behind, she told me she loved
her school so much that she wished her classroom would appear in her bedroom.
But she can longer go to school, and cannot play with her friends. She
loved nature so much, she wished for all the animals to become her friends;
she wished that human beings can create their own meat for food without
killing animals; but the irony is that she herself was cruelly killed by
her fellow “human” kind in order to fulfil his greedy desire. She wished
that the world would be filled with love and equality, and wished that there
would be no more killings. But her own right to live in this world was snatched
from her. She was only nine years old, nine years old; what kind of life
was this?
I did not see her remains, as I was advised best not to look at her remains.
She was abandoned in the wilderness by her murderer, and was covered by
snow for 161 days. It was the howling of a wolf that called the attention
of the neighbours, and led to her discovery three days before her birthday.
And on that very day, we were waiting for the police and some impostors
of the kidnappers to make an “exchange”; we were fantasizing in vain that
on her birthday, she could return to our embrace. How cruel is the human
heart!
The last I saw of Cecilia was her pair of footprints. A pair of footprints.
Pain cannot be conveyed by words. All these cannot be expressed simply by
the word, “pain.”
Cecilia will never come back, she is gone forever. For me, I hope that what
people will remember from the trial is her smile, her love and fervent wishes
for life and this world; and I wish that no more mothers would lose their
children, and hope that there will not be any more killer of children. Mothers
share the same tears. What in this world can be equal to life? A mere nine-year-
old, a life that is full of love; a sweet and wise life; a fragile and innocent
life. How many years of imprisonment must a killer serve in order to be
equal to that?
Lastly, I would like to read a poem which I wrote on Cecilia's 10th birthday.
Dearest Cecilia:
Birthday wishes (made two days before the news arrived)
Baby, oh dearest baby
birthday candies shining bright
wish you might
at this very moment
blow those weeping candle light
console Daddy and Mommy's
bleeding hearts
Baby, oh dearest baby
your laughter,
singing in our ears
your perfect kisses
imprinting on mommy's face
yet, WHERE ARE YOU?
our Cecilia?
Baby, oh dearest baby
one hundred and sixty two days
these one hundred arid sixty two days and nights
our hearts and our loves are with you
never apart
Baby, oh dearest baby
our love to you
like a pulsing heart
lives everlasting
as long as there's life
Our clearest Cecilia
Let us pray to God
Soon you will be home
We will all be together
praising God's holy name
ever after更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
Zhang, played on video in court Tuesday:
My name is Sherry Xu. I was born in China. After my marriage to Raymond
Zhang, a beloved daughter was born to us on March 30, 1994, and we named
her Dongyue Zhang. Her English name was Cecilia.
I understand that this video recording is very important. I need to tell
the judge and all those present how we spent the 161 days and nights since
our daughter disappeared and until we discovered she was killed; that's
how long Oct. 20, the day Cecilia was taken, is till March 27, the day Cecilia
was found: 161 days. From that horrible discovery until today, how we spent
these 720 days and nights, that's how many days it's been from March 27,
the day Cecilia was found, until today: 720 days and nights, and how our
family sank into a deep abyss. But please forgive me; I am unable to do this.
I am unwilling to talk about my pain; unwilling, because even being misunderstood,
mistrusted, and slandered is nothing. What kind of pain can compare with
the agony of facing death? Cecilia can no longer speak. Who can tell me
what kind of pain she had endured? Who can tell me? Cecilia was only nine
years old, but she had to face murder totally alone. As a mother, I gave
birth to her, but I was unable to protect her, so what face do I have to
talk about my own pain? I cannot.
I am unwilling to talk about my pain. I cannot tell the whole world my agony,
and allow my beloved family and friends to experience once more the sadness
my suffering has brought them. I have lost my only flesh and blood, and
her departure has hurt all the hearts of those who loved her; there has
been too much suffering in this extended loving family. I can no longer
withstand the tears and sobbing of the elderly grandparents, I cannot bear
the looks of older brothers and sisters that are filled with sadness and
pity. I am fully convinced that happiness can be shared, but pain can only
be borne in silence. I am reluctant for my relatives to suffer again, and
I cannot bear to watch the sorrow of my beloved and loving relatives. I
cannot ever bear to talk about my feelings about Cecilia with my husband,
who is the most intimate person that I have in this world. Neither of us
had any will left to live after talking about it once in 2004. Therefore,
I cannot talk about my pain, because I have no strength left to bear the
consequences of being so open.
I only want to say a few words for Cecilia. Spring has arrived. Looking
at nature springing back to life, the lovely green lawns and beautiful flowers,
kids playing on the lawn; where is my Cecilia, where is she? She can no
longer hold my hand, singing children's tunes, the way we used to do as
we went home after school. She can no longer run and laugh on the grass;
but forever separated from all the wonderful things in this world. Where
is she? She is lying in a cold grave, the warmth of spring cannot awaken
her; and yet, how she loved life!
In her homework “My Wishes” that she left behind, she told me she loved
her school so much that she wished her classroom would appear in her bedroom.
But she can longer go to school, and cannot play with her friends. She
loved nature so much, she wished for all the animals to become her friends;
she wished that human beings can create their own meat for food without
killing animals; but the irony is that she herself was cruelly killed by
her fellow “human” kind in order to fulfil his greedy desire. She wished
that the world would be filled with love and equality, and wished that there
would be no more killings. But her own right to live in this world was snatched
from her. She was only nine years old, nine years old; what kind of life
was this?
I did not see her remains, as I was advised best not to look at her remains.
She was abandoned in the wilderness by her murderer, and was covered by
snow for 161 days. It was the howling of a wolf that called the attention
of the neighbours, and led to her discovery three days before her birthday.
And on that very day, we were waiting for the police and some impostors
of the kidnappers to make an “exchange”; we were fantasizing in vain that
on her birthday, she could return to our embrace. How cruel is the human
heart!
The last I saw of Cecilia was her pair of footprints. A pair of footprints.
Pain cannot be conveyed by words. All these cannot be expressed simply by
the word, “pain.”
Cecilia will never come back, she is gone forever. For me, I hope that what
people will remember from the trial is her smile, her love and fervent wishes
for life and this world; and I wish that no more mothers would lose their
children, and hope that there will not be any more killer of children. Mothers
share the same tears. What in this world can be equal to life? A mere nine-year-
old, a life that is full of love; a sweet and wise life; a fragile and innocent
life. How many years of imprisonment must a killer serve in order to be
equal to that?
Lastly, I would like to read a poem which I wrote on Cecilia's 10th birthday.
Dearest Cecilia:
Birthday wishes (made two days before the news arrived)
Baby, oh dearest baby
birthday candies shining bright
wish you might
at this very moment
blow those weeping candle light
console Daddy and Mommy's
bleeding hearts
Baby, oh dearest baby
your laughter,
singing in our ears
your perfect kisses
imprinting on mommy's face
yet, WHERE ARE YOU?
our Cecilia?
Baby, oh dearest baby
one hundred and sixty two days
these one hundred arid sixty two days and nights
our hearts and our loves are with you
never apart
Baby, oh dearest baby
our love to you
like a pulsing heart
lives everlasting
as long as there's life
Our clearest Cecilia
Let us pray to God
Soon you will be home
We will all be together
praising God's holy name
ever after更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net