Can you try joint custody? Giving up on your own child is too hard to any mother. If you are not confident to taking care of two kids at current time, try to delay your divorce until you gain confidence onto getting both of them.

tracyl(花花)

Actually, two kids are easier to handle than one because that they are accompany each other, and after divorce they can adjust better when they are together since they will have the same feeling.

If you have already said you want divorce, then child custody is a strong excuse to delay the decision. Your child is one of the "里子" in your life，"面子" is something too expensive sometimes.

In addition, think about the little guy when she/he feel abandoned by their mother, how can he/she gain self confidence and trust on his/her life, how can they become a normal person. If they do not feel love from their very own mother, how can they love this world?

Think it over before you really giving up on him/her.

http://info.51.ca/news/oversea/2012/07/17/261285.shtml

(#7660341@0)
Last Updated: 2012-7-17
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锻炼身体，注意衣着，个人卫生，保持积极向上，乐观进取的生活态度。与朋友保持联系，不要怕麻烦别人，该求人时要毫不犹豫的打电话，别人帮完你了，要记得说谢谢。就先这么多吧。 -c1xwy(洪兴罩俺去战斗); 2012-7-16 (#7658667@0)

这些建议中肯，真诚，实用。 -yogurt22(旖旎云裳); 2012-7-16 (#7659183@0)

孩子和婚姻是不同的两件事情，把它们拆开了看，就好了。 -c__wang(小丙); 2012-7-16 (#7658675@0)

我赌100块你没孩子，或者根本就没性经验。 -defacto(事实毋庸置疑); 2012-7-16 (#7660100@0)

lol,,,小C上PP给他瞧瞧，，，虾米话。。。 -lifeisgoodd(life is fun); 2012-7-16 (#7660102@0)
俺闺女快 8 岁了，自己生的，顺产，不是领养的。你拿 100 块吧。有木有 GTA 的网友代收的？ -c__wang(小丙); 2012-7-16 (#7660110@0)

这种事情俺一贯乐于效劳。 -mayer(affablepm.com); 2012-7-17 (#7660460@0)
give her to me as my daughter -man1111(郎); 2012-7-17 (#7660574@0)
i cannot take your words. show me a DNA test -defacto(事实毋庸置疑); 2012-7-17 (#7661131@0)

你问的问题，我耐心的回答了。谢谢关注。 -c__wang(小丙); 2012-7-17 (#7661137@0)
人有出生证的，没听说妈妈还要做dna test的。 -ccra(ccra); 2012-7-18 (#7663446@0)

离婚后你带老二 -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-7-16 (#7659223@0)

神马意思？为啥你不要孩子？老二是男是女？多大？ -handaimigua(汉代蜜瓜); 2012-7-16 (#7659299@0)

先要找好下家再离 -weiwei018(hai); 2012-7-16 (#7659323@0)

为啥只放心不下老二，那老大呢？ -rainyday01(雨季不再来); 2012-7-16 (#7659326@0)

我猜老大判给妈妈了，老二跟爸爸，所以LZ不放心。出个法子：lz和lg商量商量，老大和老二每隔几个月就换着和爸爸妈妈生活一下，这样虽然离婚了，两个孩子都能享受到父爱和母爱。。。 -imwondering(不冬眠的松鼠); 2012-7-16 (#7659368@0)

加拿大很少这样判的，两个孩子最好不要分开。 -rainyday01(雨季不再来); 2012-7-16 (#7659415@0)
+100 -xybca(摇曳秋风的葱); 2012-7-16 (#7659967@0)

应该是找到第2春净身出户了。 -giss(rr); 2012-7-16 (#7660111@0)

为什么离婚要放下老二呢？该给他／她的爱一点都不要少给 -ingale(英格儿); 2012-7-16 (#7659428@0)

为了孩子,最好不离婚. 否则是猫哭耗子假瓷悲, 有了孩子还自私到离婚的母亲. 是没救了. 你们夫妻早完要死掉,留个孩子的伤害, 就是此恨绵绵无绝期的. -caa(移民的孙悟空lifeisok); 2012-7-16 (#7659984@0)

作为母亲,为了孩子,牺牲了自己的生命都值得. 却婚姻都维持的牺牲都没有, 不是称职,是自私. 无能. 愚蠢. -caa(移民的孙悟空lifeisok); 2012-7-16 (#7659987@0)

问个问题 -- 你说孩子有个快乐的母亲更快乐呢？还是有个忧伤抑郁的母亲更快乐呢？且不说这个父亲是什么样子的。 -c__wang(小丙); 2012-7-16 (#7659989@0)

如果一个家庭本来还算和睦，但是孩子的母亲碰到一个比自己老公更吸引她的男人，坚持要离婚。这样算是为孩子好吗？ -nhao(wait); 2012-7-17 (#7660702@0)

你说的有道理。我没有想全面。 -c__wang(小丙); 2012-7-17 (#7661143@0)

牺牲生命是一个人的决定，婚姻却是两个人的。老公不配合，老婆怎么努力婚姻还是败局。如果两个人在一起打得不可开交，趁早分开，两害相权取其轻。 -lilianliang(彪妹); 2012-7-16 (#7659990@0)
如果你不开心，你可以去打沙袋，可以去对着树林大喊，但不要在别人伤口上洒盐；假如你觉得楼主离婚是自私，那你这么对一个伤心的母亲就是缺德~~~~ -yoyo23(纯水有香); 2012-7-16 (#7660009@0)

不见得伤心吧，只是因为把家拆散了脚着有点对不住老二。。。。。 -alones12(大风中的承诺); 2012-7-17 (#7660780@0)

我只是从一个母亲的角度来理解LZ～～～不管怎样，这种经历都不可能是开心，快乐的；谁也不知道事情的真相，谁都没有权利凭自己的臆测去平价别人甚至攻击别人～～～更何况，他简直就是咒骂了，太过分了。 -yoyo23(纯水有香); 2012-7-17 (#7660817@0)

+1 -ruyan(如嫣); 2012-7-19 (#7665995@0)

这么说离婚的父母们，不公平。 -walkalong(汉家儿郎); 2012-7-16 (#7660023@0)
痛苦争吵的婚姻带给孩子的伤害有时远远大于离婚带来的。。。母亲也是人，是个有血有肉有情感的人，不能把孩子这样的借口压着她而不让她去寻求自己的幸福，不幸的婚姻会让一个母亲想不开的，更不用说去照看孩子了。。。 -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-7-16 (#7660024@0)

不追求幸福，只求正常。 -torontoone1(Toronto); 2012-7-18 (#7663459@0)

不是每个人都幸运，如果你的孩子将来进入一桩错误的婚姻且有小孩，你会这么劝你的孩子不要离婚？？？ -anji(f.free); 2012-7-16 (#7660302@0)
中国女人是世界上最现实的女人。 -happypassenger(Happy Passenger); 2012-7-17 (#7660837@0)

同意义的说法，所以我今天求饶了。表了态，坚决不离。可我的好日子就要来啦。谢谢各位的建议。 -torontoone1(Toronto); 2012-7-18 (#7663455@0)

这男人是个什么样的人啊，把妈妈逼到这个分上了，替LZ难过，也替孩子难过。 -haole555(speaker); 2012-7-18 (#7663738@0)
没看懂楼主的话，到底是离还是不离，是因为要离婚了就是好日子要到了吗？ -cc-pc(one day or one life); 2012-7-18 (#7665230@0)

She is hesitating. She has not figure out the consequence yet. So "离婚了就是好日子要到" is only her assumption which might not be the case. In other word, if she stay in this marriage, it does not necessary to be a sacrifice if she can handle it well. -tracyl(花花); 2012-7-19 (#7666006@0)

2个孩子都自己带吧,分开多可怜. -wushirenfei(happywife,happylife); 2012-7-16 (#7660176@0)

http://info.51.ca/news/oversea/2012/07/17/261285.shtml

thanks a lot. I do want to sacrifise myself. I can not leave him. That is why I am still in this family. -torontoone1(Toronto); 2012-7-18 (#7663463@0)

I did not recommend your sacrification, and will never recommend it. I do suggest to delay the divorce because sometime our disappointment feeling about the marriage is not the real case(I do not know your situation) -tracyl(花花); 2012-7-18 {1334} (#7663922@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛sacrification(If you do think it is a sacrification) will cause a unhappy wife, unhealthy mother and unsuitable family environment for both kids and husband regardless of the original reason.

Most of time, life is hard and stress is always on at both work and family when kids are small. When people face stress, it is very easy to have bad mood, sometimes treat their be loved ones unreasonably. If this is what you are facing now, delay the divorce might leading you guys to a happy family pretty soon when kids do not need this much attention and both of you guys will be much more mutual.

In other situation, if neither you or another side have an affairs and want a "real love". delaying this divorce can give the proof of if this is a "real love" in order to make a right choice for all of you.

However, in anyway, giving up you child as a mom is a bad choice regardless of your reason or situation. Do not make yourself regret about this decision. The things will getting better if you can think about it more mutually.

At last, you do not need to expose too much information about your situation to avoid the rumors around you which may damage you opportunity to save your marriage. However, you are welcome to discuss with me privately if you want. I will try my best to give you my piece of mind if I can.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

楼上太多不腰疼的。楼主应该是两个孩子，准备一人一个，大的可能是女孩，老二是男孩。一人一个对双方公平，再婚也方便。若是女方管俩，极大剥夺了她的再婚可能也剥夺了男方对孩子的权力。孩子一个月交换一次比较好。 -xybca(摇曳秋风的葱); 2012-7-17 (#7660607@0)

葱哥是个实在人，发言一向中肯 ~ ~ -sr-71(Black); 2012-7-17 (#7660704@0)
除非离婚了也住一条街上，否则不可能一月交换一次的，一个住TORONTO, 一个住密西沙加。孩子交换了上学怎么办啊。 -rainyday01(雨季不再来); 2012-7-17 (#7661580@0)

死脑筋，大人可以交换嘛 -xybca(摇曳秋风的葱); 2012-7-17 (#7661591@0)

大人交换也不方便啊，上班的地点，衣食起居的用品，岂不成了每月搬家一次。要是大人已经再婚了呢，新另一半怎么办，也跟着换啊。。。 -rainyday01(雨季不再来); 2012-7-17 (#7662070@0)

死脑筋，两家买个连体semi -xybca(摇曳秋风的葱); 2012-7-17 (#7662447@0)

没事儿常回前家看看，不是啥坏事儿，人都有追求幸福的权利。 -alones12(大风中的承诺); 2012-7-17 (#7660786@0)

挺到孩子上大学再离，就怕中间挺不住了。 -yogurt22(旖旎云裳); 2012-7-17 (#7662011@0)

@PEI

Can you try joint custody? Giving up on your own child is too hard to any mother. If you are not confident to taking care of two kids at current time, try to delay your divorce until you gain confidence onto getting both of them.

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