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Hi I am using hotmoon's account I am the girl who this is happening to, I don't understand Chinese but I appreciate all your help.

My sisters are agreeing that everything will be okay and it's not affecting them much. But I am the eldest and I feel quite hurt. A broken family to me makes me very sad. But I am trying to understand that maybe him leaving will be better for all of us. It's very upsetting that he's going to another country...I don't think I'll even see him again. My sisters are already thinking about where to live. I am sure I can stay with my boyfriend but it's still sad because I will no longer see my Mother everyday as well as my sisters and that is what I am used to. Independence is also important I agree. I'm working on that.
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下家园 / 幸福家庭 / GOD,从来没遇到这种情况:一位年轻的女孩控制不住的向我哭诉---她的爸爸毫无预兆的情况下,要到另一个国家去生活,不再回来。这意味着她的妈妈和四个已满18岁的姐妹被抛弃了。这个女孩很替她妈妈难受。。。。。
    因为她的爸爸一走,她妈无法在现在的地方住下去(负担不起),四个姐妹可能就四分五裂了,A FAMILY IS BROKEN。。。。

    她很恨她的爸爸,问有什么方法可以帮到妈妈,可以 LET HER DAD FEEL BAD ABOUT IT?

    她是家中长女,今年21岁。
    • 是不是这位爸爸早就打算好等孩子18岁解放自己?
      • 我刚和她谈了会话,好象有这种可能性。。。。。
    • 只能说,遇人不淑。唉~~~~
      • 完全是这样的。她的妈妈和他爸爸结婚时已是加拿大人,而她爸爸不是。后来的谈话里,女孩告诉我她爸还是个赌徒,为此丢掉了HOUSE。。。。
        • 那可能是躲债去了.2年之后报失踪,到保险公司领钱.
    • 是不是有人可以为她们爸爸生个儿子, 传宗接代啊? 我看这个是关键。
      • ?????今天是2012年?还是1712年?
        • 呵呵, 别以为现在这个年代没有这个想法的人, 周围好多中国移民就是想要生个儿子才移民加拿大的, 女儿都老大了。
      • OMG,群众的智慧真是不可低估!我根本没想到这是个问题,看了你提出的疑问,转身去问她,她说:她爸一直想要男孩,EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT。。。。
        • I want boys too since boys need more attention from dad when they are older. Lay mom. Haha...
          • 我和你相反,好喜欢有一群女儿。女儿乖,女儿可以打扮得漂亮,女儿贴心,女儿干什么都认真,努力。女儿会撒娇,女儿喜欢去餐厅,女儿会变着法子要东西。女儿好啊,女儿女儿,女儿多好啊。看着女儿就开心。
            • 女儿还最喜欢给我唱歌,跳舞,编诗来表达对我的爱,女儿会画个表给我贴在厨房墙上来看时间,因为我每天时间好紧。女儿太可爱了。
              • I want to say I am a lazy Mom, so boys may fit me more. However, we do not have much choices for this.
    • 她能做的就是尽快经济独立,并且帮助姐妹和妈妈经济独立起来。
      • 我和她说了你的意见。谢谢。
    • 如果当妈的跟别人劈腿了呢。。。:-)
      • Never ever.....(这里回的答案基本上都是女孩给的答案。)
    • 当爸的也许忍辱负重了这么多年呢?应该鼓励孩子和父亲沟通一下,弄清楚当爸的想法。四个孩子也是成年人了,不要光想着被抛弃,也该想想应有的承担。
      • YEAH。我也是鼓励她和她爸爸做一次可能是最后的谈话,了解一下他的真实想法,另外也告诉他自己很受伤的感觉。。。。唉。。。
    • 5朵金花需要照顾,这个男人这20年来的压力不是一般的大。但是不认同他毫无征兆的离开。
      • 她的妈妈和她爸在一个地方工作,妈妈的收入略低。。。。。
        • 房子换小点,长女和妈妈一起工作供房,其他姐妹也打些零工。还是有希望的~
    • 都是上大学的年龄了?为什么算做四分五裂了?赶紧教育恨她爸可以,不要恨男人,至少不要玩弄别人的感情。
      • I wont blame all men for one person being a bad human being...
      • 上面的英文是我让这个女孩自己写的。。。。我都不知如何回答你的问题。
    • 我能理解爸爸20多年来的经济压力,也能感受有5个孩子的全职妈妈出去工作的难处。所以应该帮助5个孩子应该尽快成熟起来,用Adult的眼光理解问题,不要恨爸爸,而是鼓励妈妈独立生活。
      • 谢谢。你的意见和楼上一位朋友接近,转告了。。。。。。
    • 她21,她后面的姐妹都满了18了。她父亲要走,就走吧。他该尽的义务都尽了。他不ENJOY这个家庭了,强留有用么?希望有一天她会平静的对她父亲说一句HOW ARE YOU?了。就是这个爹不要指望孩子们会对他无限的关怀和爱了。选择放弃就是放弃了。
      • 后来听了她近对自己父亲近一步的介绍,我也和她说了意思和你的接近的话。。。只是她是个心很软,很EMOTIONAL的女孩,我说:你让我明白了为什么你妈妈没有早点离开你的爸爸。(MAILED ORDER GROOM AND GAMBLER)
      • Exactly!
    • 单方面提出离婚,找律师先申请冻结所有财产。
      • 你要那么多钱干嘛?
        • 不是说生活都快成问题了吗?一个快50岁的女人,说经济独立就独立啊?等女儿独立也要有钱等啊。
      • 谢谢。没有虾么财产了,HOUSE因老爸的赌博丢掉了。。。。她只是一下子接受不了这个现实,以前一家人住一起,现在每个人都要出去找地方住。。。。。
        • 没那么容易丢房子的,赌场不敢收.找个律师问问吧.需要律师名字PM
    • 她妈真了不起,21,20,19,18 ...一年一个,这有些不太现实即使西人不坐月子
    • Hi I am using hotmoon's account I am the girl who this is happening to, I don't understand Chinese but I appreciate all your help.
      My sisters are agreeing that everything will be okay and it's not affecting them much. But I am the eldest and I feel quite hurt. A broken family to me makes me very sad. But I am trying to understand that maybe him leaving will be better for all of us. It's very upsetting that he's going to another country...I don't think I'll even see him again. My sisters are already thinking about where to live. I am sure I can stay with my boyfriend but it's still sad because I will no longer see my Mother everyday as well as my sisters and that is what I am used to. Independence is also important I agree. I'm working on that.
      • Good girl, you are an adult now, so think about how much effort from your parents to bring you 5 up. Be appreciated to both parents. You will understand your parents contribution to you after you become a parent.
        Life is not perfect, learn appreciation is a way to grow up.
        • good point. try to understand her father and appreciate his contribution.
          • Both her father and mother deserve appreciation from their kids since both of them sacrificed their own happiness to fulfill their responsibility to bring kids up.
            Hopefully, the smart child may learn how to gain a happy life from their parents mistake on dealing with family issues. Try to avoid complains since complain will prevent you from making a right choices in you relationship with boyfriend.
        • it is me again. Yes, I understand...
      • I can understand how hurt you are feeling. Just remember, you are eldest. You are example you should be before your sisters. All of what you r doing will affect your sisters. Again,
        remember, you are not you alone. You belong to your sisters, mom and us who are taking care of your current situation.
        • It's me. Okay thank you for your input. I will take that into consideration.
    • 这一大家人爸爸走了就完了?除了抱怨和伤痛没别的?难道人生少个人就只有痛苦?不要那么小提大作,被闪了一下而已,生活住定是美好的,也必修美好。不要让负面情绪控制了。